Category Archives: Food

Yoshoku Cuisine @ Dae Ji

So I tried out this place after going through a torture session @ Bikram’s at Lougheed.  The place is called Dae Ji and is located on the 2nd floor of the plaza @ 4501 North Road. Or something like that. If you get lost don’t blame me because it’s your fault you took my vague directions without checking google maps like the fool you are.

Yoshoku Pork Cutlet (far) and Hamburger Steak (close)

The food here is cheap, filling, and tasty.  Each dish is $9.50.  The total came to $24 tax and tip included. Neither of us ordered anything to drink.  NammerGuy suggested that this place was a better deal and much tastier experience that that fuck-face hell hole place called 29th Ave Cafe.  I’ve never been there and I never plan to because they charge $10.50 for a similar dish as shown plus an extra $1 for rice.  That’s right, they serve you a dish of saucy food and fuck you in the ass for rice.  I’ve heard the kimchi fried rice is good but I’ve also heard that it’s oily.  As for the curry dishes offered here, I think I’d stay away form them as they are the sweeter/Japanese variety which I do not prefer.

If you’re in the area, I would highly suggest giving this place a visit.  I’ve only had the Cheese Hamburger Steak and Spicy/Regular Cheese Pork Cutlet.  They also offer fish and chicken options for $8.90 each.  I will probably try these the next time I go.  The macaroni salad is also pretty tasty with a nice hint of spice.

On a side note, there is also a Red Bean/Custard/Sweet Rice Pancake stand at the very bottom level of this plaza.  I’m not sure what their hours are but it’s $0.75 for Red Bean filled Fish, $1 for Custard filled, and $1 for Sweet Rice Pancake.  They’re always open around 10:30am-4pm.  They make ’em good, crispy and cheap. I’ve never had the custard but my friend says it wasn’t that good and will stick with the red bean next time. Fuck the night market and their over priced asshole-attracting food carts.  People that line up for $4 or $5 hurricane potatoes are just….just…I don’t even.

Here’s some Jack Johnson for your weekend.

http://youtu.be/PEjzRa-fvgk

Carnigie Library, Good eats??

This is probably the biggest WTF moment in my life.  Okay, not really but it’s rather surprising.  Fuck all those bloggers that say “ZOMGZ THIS PLACE IS A HOLE IN THE WALL AND SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!” Fuck them to hell. They don’t know shit. “Hi-Genki” isn’t a hole in the wall…that place is just a Japanese kitchen pumping out mediocre food I’d never pay retail for. Fuck people saying “The Red Wagon” is a hole in the wall (I’ve heard it before)…it’s just a played out hipster joint…just like all the other hipster joints. Just because it’s on East Hastings doesn’t make it a hole in the wall. The only people that use that term to describe an establishment are the retarded kind, for the most part.

Now, with that being said, I have found what is quite possibly one of THE biggest whole in the wall restaurants in Vancouver. This is along the lines “The Only Seafood Cafe” except you won’t know about it unless someone told you or you frequent the DTES. I’m talking about the Carnegie Library on the Southwest corner of Main and Hastings.

http://www.zombiezodiac.com/rob/ped/archives/vancouver/chinatown_and_japantown.html
This place is teeming with life...probably not the kind you'd want to associate with, though.

Credit for picture

So I wouldn’t have known about this fantastic cafeteria if it wasn’t for the wisdom and frugality of one of my co-workers who basically pointed a gun to my head and said “Hey, eat at the Carnegie cafeteria, you fucker.” I told him to call the cops if I didn’t come back in 30 mins. He gave me a quick run down of what to expect:

  1. Set Menu for $2.25 and you get a side of greens. You can double the meat/portion  double the price ($4.50).
  2. You head up stairs to the cafeteria. You will see a chalkboard w/ the offer for breakfast/lunch/dinner.
  3. It’s clean, delicious, and nutritious.

Well, I took his charming advice and set foot for the first time into this iconic landmark of Vancouver. It is actually quite clean inside despite the hustle and bustle on the corner outside; don’t get me wrong though…there is a bit of a musky scent mixed in with some lingering smells of the mostly vagrant patrons.  All said and done, this place is pretty legit and not what I pictured it to be. Upon entering, there is a flight of stairs to the right which you must escalate to reach the cafeteria. There is a sign that warns that the steps are uneven…and boy were they uneven. They’re all wavy and banked..it’s totally fucked up and pretty much weeds out anyone who is on drugs or drunk from eating up stairs, LOL.

Dining times @ the Carnegie Library

Beside this sign is a large chalkboard that states your options for the day. When I visited around 3:30pm they were serving samosa pie with greens with a choice of ranch or vinaigrette. There was a choice to add a selection of soups for $0.85 which my co-worker recommended but I didn’t bother trying. After ringing up my order at the cashier I asked her why it was so cheap despite knowing the answer already, she told me that the government heavily subsidizes the  food due to the demographic. Funny enough, I hadn’t felt guilty about dining there until she explicitly told me the reason for the cheap food.  Nonetheless, I grabbed my tray and looked for a spot amongst a moderately filled dining space that was clean despite having an atmosphere and decor of a 90’s hospital cafeteria.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

The portion you get is amazing. Using my well endowed private parts as a reference, I would say the plate is an 8incher (about the same as my cock) and the samosa pie took up 75.832% of the plate with the green claiming the rest of the territory. The height of the pie was at least 1.5-2 inches and in a square shape with an area of maybe 4″x4″. I know somewhere some math genius is probably thinking “that doesn’t add up to 75.832%!”. Yeah, okay. Sure, whatever.

The samosa pie was moderately spiced to appeal to most taste buds and was very well made. I think if I had gone to some hipster join to eat this dish, I would have ended up paying at least $10 and walked out disappointed.  For the record, I wouldn’t actually order this dish anywhere, LOL. The potatoes, cauliflower, and various other vegetables held up their texture well in the pie and the pastry crust on top was nice and crispy. The salad was not SUPER fresh but it is similar to buying prepackaged salads and leaving them exposed in the refrigerator for a few days – they weren’t limp nor were they super crisp.

I returned to work to spread the news of all this glory that has secretly dawned itself on the corner of E. Hastings and Main. I wanted to actually pay more than the $2.25 for the meal I had and perhaps I will ask where the donation box is to throw in a few more bucks. I would suggest anyone who’s in the area and isn’t afraid of stereotypes to walk into the Carnegie and enjoy a meal there. If you’re suspicious of the demographics then I would advise that you visit during the off-hours, aka close to the end of each meal shift. I would have loved to try the tandoori chicken they were serving for breakfast that my co-worker was raving about.

This meme pretty much sums up my experience.

I’m definitely returning to the Carnegie to eat lunch/dinner again and again and again. This place is pretty awesome. It’s also run by volunteers so if you’ve got some time to give, this would be a good place to do it.

Until next time,

Dougford Chow

 

Chicken Shootout

Copyright goes to original owners. Plz don't sue me, I'm poor and not worth your time.

This has got to be the best art I’ve created in a long time…not including that one time I jizzed on a girl’s face and it looked like Bob Marley.

Recently a bunch of my friends and I gathered together to honour the deliciousness that is fried chicken.  This is how the story ensues and the review of the delectable and detestable yum-yums verbatim (sorta) as I wrote for a friend’s website:

The idea for writing on this blog finalized itself  against a back drop of fried delicacies, fried chicken to be exact.  I’m not sure when the inception of this fried chicken extravaganza birthed itself from the melon of WebGuy but it seemed brilliant enough that the plan was executed the day after we had spoken about it.  Amongst the contenders of fried chicken, we have:

  1. Churches Chicken
  2. L.A. Chicken
  3. Chicken World
  4. KFC
Look at all dem legs and thighs. We used the gravy to lube our mouths and throats.

 

We timed our arrival to the party such that the chicken was still hot, a rather critical but somewhat overlooked assessment as we noticed later on.
Based on some shifty anecdotal evidence from a local car/lifestyle forum (which is also 95% full of tools) there was much hype about L.A. Chicken, particularly since no one in the party has had it before and none of us live in shitty Richmond either.  Everyone knows how awesome Churches is unless you’re white in which case you probably dislike Churches because  it’s “greasy” or whatever retarded and invalid negative opinion you have of it. Most people know how shitty KFC is except if you’re white in which case you probably love this as much you love 80’s theme parties.  Chicken World didn’t have much hype around it so we didn’t know what to expect.

I have no pictures of L.A. Chicken so here is one of the order line at Churches...you pervert!

My first piece of chicken came from L.A. and was a leg piece.  Immediately upon the first bite I noticed how thick the crust was. It’s maybe twice as thick as something you’d find from Churches but if memory serves me correctly, the thickness was akin to Churches’ skin back when I was young(er) lad.  The skin was extremely crispy and lightly seasoned.  Nothing wrong with it except for its thickness (but that is certainly personal preference).  The meat of the leg was juicy and plentiful, exhibiting a wonderful cooperation between the deep fryer and time/space continuum.  L.A. chicken is very much on par with Churches in terms of size and value. Ten mixed pieces was approximately $20 with taxes in.  The difference, however, stands in the thigh pieces and temperature.  I ate a thigh from L.A. after eating a leg from Churches and the amount of meat and  chicken juice gushing from the thigh piece was phenomenal, something I’ve never seen replicated by Churches.  There’s also less bone in their thigh…which may have just been an oddity rather than the norm, I didn’t bother to inquire about it.  We noticed that the thick crust of L.A. was detrimental to its assessment when the chicken became cold as it became rather hard and bland.  Some of you are probably asking “Why the fuck would you eat fried chicken cold?” To answer that, I say “Fuck you. I’m a lazy mother fucker and sometimes I just eat my left over finger food cold.”  So that is why it matters, my friends.

Churches, as always, was a pleasure to devour; if you live in the GVRD and you haven’t ate at Churches you are definitely missing out. If you don’t like the chicken then at least go eat an apple pie there…or an apple pie at A&W that is exactly the same thing but coated in cinnamon sugar, but I digress.  Churches is practically the pinnacle of friend chicken in Vancouver.  The skin is relatively crispy and well seasoned (especially the spicy version) and the meat is always tender and juicy.  It can even be enjoyed cold without too much issue.  I’m not sure why some people complain that it is greasy because

  1. It’s fried fucking chicken
  2. Your ability to differentiate between juice and oil has been compromised by years of deep throating hairy cocks
  3. Read # 1 and 2 again

Oh and only tools would order “white meat” to be deep fried (that means we got mixed dark meat if you can’t read in between the lines).

A picture of Churches Chicken I had one time...that has nothing to do with the feast :).

Well, I’ve finally arrived to the part that I dread, the part where I must recollect the sensations of ingesting fresh horse manure in a chicken coop.  That is how I would surmise the experience of eating Chicken World and KFC with the former being the lesser of the two evils.  I’ll keep it short for the welfare of all humanity for I fear the wrongs committed by these two companies may just irk Jesus enough to fast track the second coming.
Chicken World…where do I begin?  The skin is sufficiently crispy and very thin, probably because it is VERY lightly battered compared Churches and even more so when put up against L.A. Chicken.  My first reaction to the skin was that it tasted…a little bit burnt? Maybe it was old oil. I’m not too sure.  My second reaction was that this tastes like something someone could make at home.  WebGuy’s SO asked if that means the chicken/skin was good.  Well…there are a lot of people who can’t cook but attempt to anyways if you know where I’m going with this.  On the contrary, there are also a lot of people who aren’t cooks by trade and make wonderful “homemade” food. Well, in this case I’d have to consider the former description as theme for Chicken World.  The chicken is okay…not really juicy and not really dry with the thigh being a little drier than the leg.  Worst of all, once the chicken turns cold, it is nearly inedible.  Dryness takes over and no pleasure can be delivered from the consumption of the chicken skin.  I’m deeply disappointed by the fact that this is the result of a commercial fryer and an establishment that specializes in fried chicken.  The redeeming factor of this glory-hole institution is that is cheap at ten pieces for $13 or so.  So if you’re short on cash and want to make money sucking some random dick in a washroom stall…this might just be the joint for you!

The Glory Hole. Hells yeah it feels good!

Kentucky Fried Chicken has the biggest bucket (packaging) of all the chicken fryers.  The disappointment comes when you crack open the lid and all you see are dark, shriveled pieces of shame.  From the beginning of this scientific experience, we all knew what the result of the KFC bucket would be failure.  Sure, crucify me for having biased the results but it doesn’t change the truth, Big Jay didn’t have a problem with it and nor do I.  Whether the lumps of coal were enjoyed hot or cold, the meat was dry and the skin was wrinkly and limp although John Lu said his initial piece was exemplary.  The entire table told him to sit in the corner with his dunce cap on and to not speak for the rest of the night.

The Douchebag-Shithead Colonel! Or maybe it's John Lu with his dunce cap on...

 The shoddy cooking procedures that KFC employs is particularly evident when the chicken turns cold; you can taste the oil soaked in the skin, meat, and most disgustingly in the bones.  I had already stated this before the experiment and prior to the Sheriff’s arrival but when he ate the KFC chicken cold, he echoed my sentiments with a loud and frustrated “what the fuck is this?!”  I don’t recall how much this bucket of boney horse manure costs but it should be avoided at all costs.  The left overs were used for a salad or something according to Webguy’s SO…or was it chicken and waffles?

Look at this sleazy-ass joint (Chicken World) on the corner of Knight and 49th.

As a group, we were pretty much unanimous as to what is good and what is moldy shit. Churches just barely edges out L.A. mostly due to its utilitarian characteristics.  I don’t think nostalgia played a role in any of this as we’re mostly open minded people.  Mostly, LOL.  This isn’t the end-all and be-all of fried chicken in the GVRD, I know there’s apparently a bunch of miscellaneous Korean joints that we’ve missed and perhaps one day we will revisit this test with a new host of contenders.  I do apologize for the lack on interesting pictures but when a gaggle of hungry men are eating fried chicken, there simply isn’t any time to take pictures. But as a first post in the food category, I think this is good enough. I will make a mental note to take notes down next time and maybe take more pictures to avoid the TL;DR crowd.

Until next time,

Dunford Chow